I have been in law school for almost 3 months. Today I am feeling low. It sort of beats the hopes and dreams out of you. We have 5 weeks until finals. I know nothing today and I don't know how I will know anything by the time they get here. I have so many things I should be doing that I shut down after 12 hours and watch a show then go to bed. I really only have the capacity to do the reading and work due the next day. When can I study? I am unsure about how this is going to turn out. I guess I need to buckle down and stay at school until 9 every night. A few weeks of that and I may go insane! I think it is my only option.
I am concerned about getting depressed. In one of my classes the teacher mentioned the increased rate of depression in law students. It actually made me more depressed. The numbers are not pretty. 8% of students entering law school suffer depression and 40% suffer depression after 3 years of law school. I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep the other night when I thought, "I feel my soul going dark." Why does anyone do this? Ugh! And I really mean that exclamation point.
I am trying to do the things that will help me overcome those feelings. Shay bought me a treadmill. I hope to be able to do my reading and walk at the same time. I do about 3-4 hours of reading a day, I think that will help. I try to read my scriptures and pray every morning. I pray during the day as well. I am trying not to fear but it keeps coming back. I am trying. That is all that I have to offer today.
