Homeschooling

I wrote this post just after I started homeschooling almost 3 years ago.  I never published it.  Reading it now,  I feel that raw emotion that I felt when I wrote it.  We have grown a lot in 3 years. I am not so afraid anymore.


I actually haven't been very forthcoming about the fact that we are homeschooling this year.  I have felt weak and didn't want any criticism.  I always said I could never/would never homeschool my kids.  Just out of selfishness for my time, let alone a thousand other reasons...my kids make me crazy fighting, screaming and messing up the house all the time.  (I know this sounds awful and I am not saying this is how other moms are, but this is how I was.) I only say that because everyone that finds out we are homeschooling for some reason thinks that I want them to do the same.  That is not true, although if you want to try it, you should.
There are so many wonderful things about homeschooling like sleeping in, reading books snuggled in the bean bag, keeping those terrible middle school experiences at bay, or doing what you feel your Heavenly Father has asked you to do.
There are also not so fun things like finding out that your 3rd grader has been lying about doing her math assignments all week, or having a meltdown in your closet because you do not feel compitent enough to teach everything the world has to offer to your five children in one year, or your 5 year old telling you he can't wait for kindergarten because he does not want to be homeschooled.
To be honest it is super brutal.  But when I ask my girls if they are ready to go back to public school, they say "no way". They even tell the five year old "Don't do it! People are so mean."  It would be easy to send them back and I am not sure that I never will but for now I am learning at least as much as they are.  I am sure that no situation is 100% ideal, but I hope I can do my best for them.  I am going to try.